


Standing at the bitter end

by merdarkandtwisty



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blackcest, Child Abuse, Cousincest, Draco isn't a Malfoy, F/M, M/M, Mentor Severus Snape, Past to Present, Pre-Slash, Secrets, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8852950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merdarkandtwisty/pseuds/merdarkandtwisty
Summary: A secret affair leads to more secrets. Past, present and future. A change in parentage leads to a change in destiny as two boys find kindred spirits in each other, fight against the secrets all the while  keeping their own and bring their world out of the darkness.





	1. the first secrets

I don’t own Harry Potter

It was wrong, it was right, it was pain, it was pleasure, it was strength it was weakness, love, and hate. Tear, shouting. Laughing, kissing. It was a contradictory fight to the end.

He loved her, he shouldn’t because she was his cousin. In their family it really didn’t matter except he was a Gryffindor and disinherited, she was a Slytherin, the perfect pureblood daughter already promised away.

“We can’t do this anymore,” she breathed against his swollen lips. His hands tangled in her silky blond locks.

“That’s what you said last time, and the time before that and every time since we were fifteen.” He scoffed ravishing her mouth once again. Pushing her against the wall, she fought against the desire to meld herself back into her body. She fought against it pushing him away once again.

“I’m serious, Sirius. We can’t do this anymore. Lucius is getting suspicious I think he’s going to start having me followed,” she steeled every nerve in her body to tell him what she had to. “I’m pregnant.” She breathed releasing the secret she’d been harboring for weeks. He gasped releasing her he stepped back looking at her wide-eyed.

“You’re…you are... Pregnant... baby… Whose?”

Gray eyes met pale blue. “Yours of course but let’s hope Lucius doesn’t figure that out.”

“No Cissy if that’s my baby you’re leaving that bastard. We are not allowing my child to be raised a Malfoy.”

“You have no choice. I have no choice.” She paced wildly around the room.

“No you had a choice you chose to marry him, even though you loved me.” He grabbed her arm twirling her towards him. Fire and ice meeting like so many times before.

“NO Sirius I’m not you.”

“Right.” He scoffed “Perfect Narcissa. Never steps out of line Narcissa. Does everything Mummy and daddy says. Too bad they don’t know we’ve been rolling in the sheets since we were fifteen. “The sound of her hand hitting his cheek reverberated around the room.

“How Dare you.”

“How dare I?” you’re the one who is denying me my child.” He hissed.

“It has to be this way don’t you see?” Tears poured down her pale cheeks. “Right or wrong we’ve both made our choices. You choice to leave closing the doors to us. I chose to stay and in the bargain had to marry Lucius. I don’t love him. Can never love him but I won’t leave him. I’m not strong enough to live under the scorn of the family the way you do. “

Of course not.” Sirius snorted. “Why would you ever want to displeasure our evil family? How is Bella still as crazy as every? What about Andy, still disowned because of who she loved. You’d really still be in contact with the crazy sister, married to the pureblood lord instead of being with me or talking to your actual sane sister. You can do what you want Cissy, you can be married to who you want. I can’t stop you but that.” He pointed to her stomach. “That is my child and I will fight you tooth and nail for him or her.”

“Sirius No.” she was pleading now. Her hands over her stomach. You can’t. You can’t do it. He’ll kill me.”

“What do you mean why would he kill you.”

“Are you kidding the humiliation of it all would be enough and he’s powerful enough to get away with it but that’s not all If we divorce I lose my magic. It’s written into the marriage contract. I can’t live without my magic.” She was crying now tears running down her pale cheeks.

“How could you sign such a thing?” Sirius was vibrating with such rage, “

how could I have ever loved someone who is so weak so pitiful.” He snapped at her. He hadn’t slapped her but she felt like he had stuck her as her whole body shook.  What are you going to do when he finds out?  Because he isn’t stupid Cissy, he isn’t dumb and he’s going to figure it out.”

She shivered as if Dementors were in front of her. “If he finds out he won’t do anything not publically the humiliation will be too much.”

“Oh so he won’t kill you because you swear he’ll kill you if you leave but raising your bastard child that will be okay.”

“I’ll give him an heir a pureblood one, that’s all he really wants so the blood won’t be strictly Malfoy. Having an Heir holding up public perception that’s all Lucius cares about. The Humiliation of the word knowing I’d slept with someone else would be worse for him then the secret humiliation of raising another man’s child.”

Sirius shook his head. He knew he was out of options. The world wouldn’t believe him. There was no such thing as Paternity spells. Oh Gringott’s had a test but that was only given to of age wizards who were collecting inheritances and only when asked. They would never give it to a baby, and he could never ask for it to be given to a baby. The world wouldn’t believe him even if he did come out and tell them it was his baby.  His heart was breaking. He looked at the woman he had loved all his life. a gulf between them  he thought would never form. Anger, hurt, betrayal. It all welled up inside of him.

“I hate you.” He spat, I hate you and I day mark my words I’ll figure out a way to get my child back, one day.” With those words he stormed out of the room in a far off inn that they’d secreted away in and apparated to James and Lily because he had to tell someone. He had to let the burden off his heart and shoulders.

Narcissa slide against the wall, letting her perfect pureblood façade fall as tears fell from her eyes the color of a raging stormy sea. What had she done, how had she ended up here. Could she ever get out of it? She loved Sirius she’d always loved Sirius. It was supposed to be him and her against the world. Then he got sorted into the house of Red ad her into the house of Green and he’d defied his family at every turn and she’d still loved him because he was Sirius. Then he’d gotten blasted from the family tree and ran away to the Potters, and she still loved him though by that moment she knew it wasn’t going to be forever. Then a betrothal contract between her and Lucius and she knew he was lost forever because she wouldn’t say no to her family. She wouldn’t’ live outside the pureblood sphere.

  Couldn’t, it was too ingrained in herself. The only thing she’d ever done to defy her family they didn’t even know about. No one knew about the clandestine nights. The heated kisses the love, the passion. That spilled between them. Their secret to take to the grave.  Or so she thought. She pulled herself together the perfect pureblood wife and she made her way towards the manor that held her cold, distant loveless marriage another man’s baby in her belly.

Sirius landed in the Potter garden. He stared at the cottage, imagining James and Lily in there in their little happy bubble and he resented them for a split second he resented their happiness. That they could laugh and hug and kiss and when they had a baby everyone would know and celebrate. It wouldn’t be some dirty  little secret.

He made himself move, made himself pull out of the resentment. He made himself walk up the path to that door. He stalled for a second. Letting some of the anger and resentment fade from his face. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open. “Hello.” He called out. Trying to make his voice sound normal like he wasn’t being held together by a string. A very tiny, very fragile string.

“Hey Padfoot what are you doing here?” James came into the room stopping short at the look on his friends face. For even if Sirius was trying his best to mask it James Potter knew him better then then almost anyone except maybe Narcissa.  “Padfoot is everything okay?”

With those words Sirius crumbled in on himself the tears came and he fell to the ground. James stood in shock staring wide-eyed at his best friend.

“Hey James did I hear Sirius?” Lily came into the room and stopped in her tracks. “Oh my god.” She rushed to Sirius’s side as James feet finally seemed to move but instead of moving towards his distraught friend he moved to the fire place. He grabbed a handful of floo powder and threw it into the fire calling out.

“Remus Lupin.”

“James is everything okay?” Remus asked his head coming into the fire.

“No, something’s wrong with Sirius I need you to get here.”

“Should I get Peter?”

James bit his lip. “No his mum is sick don’t want to worry him more.”

“Okay step back James I’m coming through.” James hurried back as Remus stepped through the floo and into the Potter’s living room “Oh my.” The man said looking down at their friend I Lily’s arms. “What’s wrong with him?”

“We don’t know he showed up here looking horrible when I asked what was wrong, that’s what happened.” James motioned to him.

James and Remus slowly made their way to their friend.

“Hey Serious what’s wrong?” Remus crotched down level to the other man. Sirius looked up at his friends swallowing and pushing himself out of Lily’s arms. The red head stood up and James and Remus helped Sirius to his feet getting him to the couch. He buried his head in his hands and he took a few shuddering breaths before he looked back up at them again.

“Narcissa.”

With one word three faces looked murderous. “What did that Bitch do to you this time.” James growled. The Marauder’s didn’t like Narcissa that wasn’t a hidden secret. Only those in the room knew that Sirius was still meeting up with his teenage love. Or that he had loved her to begin with. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust Peter but the fourth member of their group never seemed inclinded to care about romances and always got a grossed out look when they were talked about so they just didn’t talk about it around him.

“She’s pregnant.”

Lily gasped stumbling and James had to catch her. “Yours or Lucius’s?” she asked.

“She says mine I believe her but she won’t leave him says she’ll lose her magic and he’ll kill her so she’s going to let that monster raise my child. There’s nothing I can do you know that you know how our world is.” he swallowed. She holds all the cards and I hold none.” He shook his head.

“Oh Sirius.” Lily sat beside him. “I’m so sorry.” Well inside she was cursing Narcissa Black Malfoy. Plans were made in the minds of the four to fight to do everything to bring the baby to them. What none of them knew at that moment though was that another baby was coming. A baby and a prophecy that would change it all. Make it all impossible.

What they didn’t know was that soon war would come to their very doorstep tearing them apart. Two boys would be born. One under a false name. one left an Orphan both destined to live similar lives in different circumstances. Drawn together under a cloak of secrecy. Secrets it was the word that would tie them all together. Secrets of the past, present and future.

 


	2. Chapter 2

I don’t own Harry Potter

Sirius watched Lily, her belly rounded her face aglow with the child she carried inside herself. He was happy for James and Lily and their coming child he really was but he couldn’t help but be jealous, to be furious and envious wanting to punch something someone every time he saw James lay a hand on Lily’s stomach and talk about the names they ‘d discussed. Knowing James would get to see his child born. Hold him or her in his arms. 

James watched his friend it had been months since he’d announced that he was going to be a father. A few weeks after Sirius made his announcement Lily had found out she was pregnant. James had watched as Sirius’s eyes had shuttered with distress and grief. He tried to reach out to his friend but he’d pushed them all away. He’d put on a smile and told them congratulations and James hadn’t pushed he hadn’t wanted to.

Lily was seven months pregnant when Dumbledore had called them to his office and told them of the phrophcy telling them to go into hiding telling them to trust no one that Voldemort was after their unborn son.

Lily had put her hand over her stomach and cried and Sirius had offered to be their secret keeper but they had went another direction to Peter. Voldemort would never expect Peter, Sirius though they would all suspect Sirius of being their secret keeper he was the go to the obvious choice.

The Potter’s life went along as smoothly as it could well they were in hiding. All the while Sirius thought of his friends and their baby and then he thought of Narcissa and his own baby and he wondered if it would be a boy or a girl. Would she follow Black tradition?

Narcissa Black Malfoy went into Labor early in June. She’d watched her waistline  expand and she’d felt the kick inside her. she’d grown to the love the child that would curse her.  For the child was a part of Sirius. A tangible piece she could always hold onto.

She thought of names and dreamed of what the child would look like. Lucius was as attentive as she’d figured he would be leaving her to the house elves. She didn’t mind though the less time she had to spend in his company the better.

Her parents were in contact though they’d taken an extended vacation to the continent her mother and father for all their bluster and pure blood supremacy were scared of Voldemort.

Bella had been around from time to time. Mostly to talk to Lucius and she knew those conversations revolved around the dark lord but she didn’t want to know what they were about and then one morning her want into labor.

After hours in pain she’d delivered a healthy boy. A boy. And a part of her sighed in relief it wasn’t a daughter and a part of her cringed at what a son meant but at least that it was a son to carry on the Malfoy name hopefully Lucius would leave her to her own devices. She held the baby close as the healers allowed her husband into the room.

Lucius looked at the child in his wife’s arms. His grey eyes held more ice then usual as he scooped the child into his arms. He held him and looked down at him and then he leaned over Narcissa’s bed and whispered in his wives ear.

“I know your secret my dear, you’re lucky no one else can tell. To the world he’ll be my son but privately he’s nothing to me. He deposited the child back into her arms. Narcissa watched him go. Her face paler then ever. Her breath coming in quick gasps. She looked down at the child in her arms. He looked like her that was a good thing. Slick blond hair but the eyes yes the eyes were Sirius’s and there was no denying that. Luckily they  could be passed off as hers also. They were also close enough to Lucius’s that if someone pressed it could be explained. How had he known though?

“I’ll protect you baby.” She whispered.

Lucius was fuming, he knew he’d been played the timing hadn’t added up but looking into that child’s eyes he knew actually who had played him and he was furious. The only good thing he could figure is that at least he knew his “Son” was of pure blood. The world would never know but he would, he’d know and he’d make Narcissa’s life hell because of it.

He wouldn’t allow anyone to play him he was Lucius Malfoy after all.

The next day the Daily prophet announced the Birth.

Sirius let the paper flutter to his lap after reading the announcement that took up half a page.

**Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy nee Black are pleased to announce the arrival of their son an Heir Draco Lucius Malfoy.**

The rest of the page was taken up by a picture of the new born. Blond heir and Grey eyes. His eyes. He caressed the picture and looked down at his son. His son that felt so weird, he cursed though as he clutched the paper in his hand. The baby that had Lucius Malfoy’s name.

Life wasn’t fair and the picture under his hand was proof of that.

Lily and James sat in their own house thinking of the child who was as good as family as they peered down at the picture. He looks so like Sirius.” James said.

“I don’t see it.” Lily pointed out.

“The eyes the way his hair lies. It’s all there.” James watched the picture of the sleeping baby.

In another house in another room another man did the same. Remus Lupin’s heart broke for all of his friends and himself.

A month and a half later Lily Potter gave birth to Harry James Potter and the second boy that would shape he world was now in it. Both boys would have their parts in the war. Both boys would come to depend on each other. Both boys were puppets that those older then them tried to play. The boys were stronger then that though and in years to come they’d show the world.

Next up Halloween anyone Draco growing up Lucius dealing wth Draco. Bring the tissues.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N so next up we’ll have Draco’s Birth and Harry’s all in one chapter. Not sure if we’ll have Halloween of 1981 in that chapter or another. Then we’ll have a few chapters leading up to that day in Diagon Ally that the boys meet but it will go differently.


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